I'm a Monster
by Tatsurou-san
Summary: Raven's eighteenth birthday brings an unwelcome surprise from her father that changes her forever. Will she be able to live with what happens? Inspired by "The Lonely Beast" by Metron99.
1. Don't Look in the Mirror

1. Don't Look in the Mirror

Raven shot awake on the morning of her 18th birthday, her entire body screaming in agony. Her stomach roiled, and she ran to her bathroom. Benidng over the toilet, she evacuated her stomach. She stared down at the black ooze that came pouring out of her, and retched again.

Her body was screaming. Her bones felt like they were trying to reconfigure themselves. There was a pain in her head, her limbs, her shoulders, at her tail bone. It felt like her body was tearing itself apart.

"What...what's happening..." she managed to say before another wave of retching. Then in her mind she heard a familiar chuckle...one she'd hoped she would never hear again.

"Happy Birthday, daughter."

*What...how are you doing this to me? I defeated you!* she managed to scream in her mind, but he only laughed.

"Yes...you did. On your sixteenth birthday, I should have come through and taken over the earth...but you stopped me. The Earth is your realm now, and now that you have fully matured...your demon blood has chosen a form more fitting the demon queen of the world!" His laughter filled her mind. "Soon you'll wish you had let me have the Earth...after you see how humans treat you now!" His voice departed, but the laughter remained.

Raven heard the sound of tearing cloth, and felt her body contort and shift. She wanted to scream, but the pain was too much. She blacked out.

She didn't know how long it was after that when she came to, but things looked strange, as though she was seeing more than she usually did. Stanidng up, she made a mistake.

She saw her reflection.

Screaming, she smashed the mirror, denying what she had seen, but she could not deny it for long. Now she knew why Starfire had tried so hard to hide her Transformation. But she could not hide this. Her friends...they couldn't accept her, not like this. Crawling back to her bed, she sealed the door with magic...and wept burning tears. 


	2. Leave Me Alone

2. Leave Me Alone

Raven sat huddled on her bed, crying silently, when she heard the knock on her door. "Raven? Are you okay?" It was Beast Boy.

"I'm fine!" she snapped. She softened her tone. "I just...I need to meditate, okay?"

"Sure...are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm just fine, Beast Boy."

"You don't sound it."

Raven thought for a time. "I'm not just now, but I will be once I meditate," she said, just trying to make him go away. She didn't want him to see her like this.

"Okay, Raven." He sounded sad. He felt crushed. She heard im walk away.

Later, there was another knock on her door. "What is it, Starfire?" she said without thinking.

"Friend Raven, Friend Beast Boy said you were not feeling well. Is there anything I can do to help you with the feeling better?"

"No Star, thanks for asking. I just...need some time alone."

"Oh. ...all right. I believe the phrase is...Get Well Soon?"

Raven chuckled. "YOu got it right, Star."

Star floated away.

Later, Raven could feel something stirring inside her, and tried to supress it. Hearing heavy footsteps stop outside the door, she knew who was about to knock. "I need to meditate, Cyborg," she said without rancor.

"Oh. Sorry. I was just wondering if you wanted to help out with the T-Car. Thought building something might help you to feel better."

"Not just now, Cyborg. Sorry." Cyborg left quietly.

Whatever was stiring inside her was getting harder and harder to suppress, and then another knock at her door.

"Raven, it's Robin. Is everything okay in there? YOu'e been in there all day."

"I'm fine, Robin. Just leave me alone."

"Raven, if you're not feeling well, I can have Cyborg run some medical tests-"

"NO!" she shouted. The last thing she wanted was anyone barging in here. Then she heard the sound of her keypad. "Don't you dare!" she snarled, a wall of opaque magic forming in front of her door just as it slid open under Robin's emergency override.

"Raven, if you're ill, you need some help. You can't keep me out when you need-"

"JUST WATCH ME!" she snarled, the force inside her building dangerously. She didn't know what was happening to her, but the closer anyone got to her, the worse it got.

"Robin! What the hell?" She heard Beast Boy push Robin aside. "She said she wanted to be left alone!"

"If she's ill-" he began.

"LET HER BE!" Beast Boy snarled. "She knows better than any of us what she needs. If it's an ordinary sickness, she'll tell us what she needs. If not, she knows better than any of us what to do. How dare you try to force your way into her room!"

As she heard them starting to fight, the force inside her peaked, and she clutched her head, screaming.

"Raven!" Beast Boy banged on the magical wall. "WHat is it? WHat's wrong?"

There was an explosion from inside Raven's room. Beast Boy turned into a rhino and bashed through the wall just as the barrier dropped.

The room was a mess, scorched and tumbled. Where her window had been, there was only a large hole in the wall, looking like it had been blasted by magic.

"Raven!" Beast Boy shouted despairingly. 


	3. Hunger

3. Hunger

She sat huddled in the dark alley, staring around her, seeing without seeing. She was cold, but that didn't matter. There was fire enough inside her to consume the world if she so chose.

Then the boy came.

He was what one might call a young tough. He was probably early twenties. He also seemed like he was far gone on the bottle. He saw her in the dead end alley and grinned. "Well, well, missy," he said. "Aren't you the one looking for a good time?" He staggered into the alley, leering at her.

She snarled quietly. She could see the stink of alchohol and sweat on him, hear the beating of his heart. She bared her teeth. He probably thought she was grinning at him. He chuckled.

"So we gonna do this here? Or do you wanna go somewhere more comfy-cozy?" He continued to leer at her, his eyes filled with a hunger far weaker than the one that filled her.

She did not like the way he looked at her. He was prey, not predator. She hissed at him.

"Now none of that," he said, pulling out a knife. "YOu wouldn't come out here looking like that if you didn't want it, too. Let's just do this easy, no one wants to get hurt."

He couldn't see all of her, then. Just enough to make him think she was something else. She decided to teach him a lesson.

Her tail flashed. His knife blade went flying, and he clutched his arm where a huge bleeding gash had opened along its length.

"GRAH! You bitch!" Then he looked at her, and his eyes were filled with fear and lust as she reared up.

Her eyes held his, like a serpent's eyes hold the wary fieldmouse. But her eyes were also focused on his bleeding arm. The scent of fresh blood...fresh meat...

Mouth open, baring full rows of fangs, she lunged.

Robin was examining the ruin of Raven's room closely, trying to find a clue as to what had happened to Raven. "Something is definately wrong here," he mumbled.

"Gee, ya think?" Cyborg commented acidly. "Someone's gone and kidnapped Raven, leaving a scorched and wrecked room, and you think something is wrong?"

"I don't think she was kidnapped," Robin said blandly.

"YOu think she smashed up her own room before busting out the wall?" Cyborg was clearly disdainful of the idea.

Starfire came out of Raven's bathroom. "THe room of bathing is also severly damaged, and it is clear Raven smashed the mirror herself. Also, there is a strange substance in the toilet."

Beast Boy said nothing as Cyborg went in to investigate the bathroom. He was busy using his nose, but wasn't making a big deal of it. Leaning against the wall, he breathed in. He smelled smoke from where the room was scorched, but that was expected. He was trying to investigate Raven's scent, though. It clung to everything, but it had changed. It still smelled of lavender, as always. But there had also always been an undercurrent of scent that his animal instincts had always associated with sulfur, even though it smelled nothing like sulfur. That undercurrent was much stronger now.

Cyborg came back out. "The stuff in the toilet is vomit, mostly. But it's heavily biological, and contains heavy amounts of blood and other substances I don't recognize."

"Raven's?" RObin asked intently.

"Matches her genetic code...mostly. Deeper down it was closer. It was almost as though, as she was throwing up...her genetic code started to rewrite itself somehow, like when BB shapechanges."

"Then while she was throwing up, she was changing into something else?"

Beast Boy, listening to all of this, came to his own conclusion. The sulfur-that-wasn't-sulfur...there was one thing that had always been associated with the smell of sulfur, one thing that would explain all of this. He had been smelling her demon blood, and it had become stronger.

Robin's communicator buzzed. He flipped it open. "RObin here."

"THis is the commisioner. You'd better get down here. We've got a report of a monster attack, and I think you'd better handle it."

Robin was silent for a time, then nodded. "We'll be right there." He flipped it closed. "COme on, Titans, let's go."

"But what about friend Raven?" Starfire asked, worried.

"If I'm right...and I hope I'm not...investigating this will put us on the right track to finding Raven. Titans, go!"

With that, they headed out. Beast Boy said nothing, but followed. He could see - as surely as if he could read minds like Raven did - what Robin was thinking, and Beast Boy did not want to let that happen. He needed a plan. One thing was certain to him, though.

Whatever it took, he would help Raven. 


	4. Investigations and Diversions

4. Investigations and Diversions

The Titans arrived at the police station. A tug off the street was being treated for a large gash in his arm. The officer in charge guided the Titans over to him.

"Alright, young man. Tell the Titans what you told me."

The man nodded. "Well, see, I'd just left the bar and I spotted this chick in an alleyway, and, well, it was pretty obvious she was 'in the mood', if you catch my drift." He gave Robin a conspiritorial wink until he caught Starfire's confused look, then shited uncomfortably.

"What gave you that idea?" Robin said acerbically.

"Well, she was bent over and stark naked, for one thing!" He chuckled. "In that part of town, that only means one thing, know what I'm saying?" Seeing the withering glances he was getting, he continued his story. "Anyway, I went to talk to her, you know, see what I could do for her - or to her - and she starts hissing at me. I pulled out my knife to defend myself."

The police officer held up a bag containing the broken knife. The blade had been sheared off cleanly centimeters above the handle. "And how did this happen?"

"I was getting to that. Well, she must have had a knife or something of her own, cause it snapped out of nowhere and sheared right through my knife. Left this gash on my arm, too." He shuddered. "Then she stared at me, and it was like I was a piece of meat! And not in the nice way, neither." He blinked a few times. "And her eyes...there were four of them, and they were blood red all the way through!"

The Titans stiftened at that point. "What happened then?" Robin asked.

"Well, then all of a sudden, she lunged mouth first, and she had a lot of razor sharp teeth! But just before she bit me, she suddenly reared back, clutching her head. I didn't really pay much attention to anything after that cause, like I said, she was naked, and her cans were right in my face. Nice set, too, perky nips and everything-" Seeing Beast Boy's sudden glare, the man shifted uncomfortably. "Anyway, she went away not long after. Not sure which way."

Robin nodded. "Alright." He led the Titans outside.

"Please, friend Robin," Starfire asked. "What are these cans of which he spoke, and-"

"It's slang, Star," Beast Boy snarled out with barely suppressed rage. "He was talking about her chest."

"Oh." Starfire turned bright red as she processed the rest of the description.

"Ok," Robin said. "Obviously, Raven has lost control of her demon power. That makes her a danger to everyone around her. THat means...we take her down. Hard, if neccessary."

"But Robin," Star began. "She is our friend!"

"That's why it's going to be us. If anyone's going to take Raven down, it's going to be people who care about her, who are doing it as much for her as anyone else."

"No way!" Beast Boy snarled. "We have to help her! She's fighting whatever's happening to her, and-"

"Beast Boy, if you're too emotionally involved here to think clearly, you should go back to the Tower. We can take care of this."

The hush that fell after Robin's words was almost oppressive. Robin realized what he'd just said. He tried to fix it. "Beast Boy, I didn't mean-"

He was silenced by Beast Boy throwing his communicator at Robin's feet. Turning, Beast Boy stormed away.

Obviously, Robin didn't care enough to see what was happening. In that case, Beast Boy wasn't going to help him track down Raven. He was going to help her. He knew what he had to do.

Raven swooped down on the farmstead they had once used to capture a UFO during the Nufu events. It was a bustling farmstead now, with plenty of animals. She swooped into the barn, fighting against her own will and the hunger inside.

She stared at the bustling animals, and her eyes fell on a cow. It was old, well past it's prime. Beyond the age of use on the farm, good only for the slaughter for meat.

"Beast Boy, I hope you can forgive me for this," she whispered, and lunged at the cow, teeth bared. The animal screamed in fear, and then there was only silence, occasionally punctuated by the snapping of bones. 


	5. Hot on the Trail

5. Hot on the Trail

Raven flew quickly, the wind rushing over her, trying to escape what she'd done...what she'd become. She didn't want this...she didn't want any of this! Why did everything have to fall apart, just as things were going right?

She swooped down to the ground, backwinging to land gently. Digging her claws into a tree, she began to climb up it...but then she heard a small voice.

"Raven?"

She turned. "Azar...no..." Of all people to see her like this and know her...not them!

"Raven, are you...okay?" The small blonde ehad approached her.

"Stay away!" Raven cried, leaping into the air...and away from the ones close to her heart.

A couple hours later, Beast Boy glided in and returned to human form. "Melvin? Timmy? Teether? What are you doing so far from the shrine?"

"Beast Boy!" Melvin and the boys clung to him, all crying. "It's Raven. She was scary, but wasn't, and she ran away!"

Beast Boy did his best to process this. "You mean...she looked scary, like I do in my bigger animal forms, but you knew it was her, so you weren't frightened? Just like you know it's me when I'm an animal, cause I'm green?"

Melvin nodded against him. "That's what I said. But she ran. She acted scared of us." Melvin sniffled.

"Don't worry, Melvin. I promise I'll help Raven, whatever it takes. But I need you three to do something for me...for Raven's sake."

Melvin nodded. "What do I do?" Timmy and Teether also listened intently.

"If Robin and the others come by asking...Raven was never here. Understand?"

Timmy and Teether were confused, but Melvin looked shocked. "Robin wants to hurt Raven?"

"Robin is scared of what's happened to Raven, and thinks she's dangerous, but we know better. FOr now, for Raven's sake, we must make sure Robin doesn't find her...you with me? Robin's not a bad guy, but he's making the wrong decision right now, and we must make sure he doesn't find Raven until he learns enough to make the right one. Understand?"

Melvin nodded. "Right." She turned to Timmy and Teether. "If Robin asks after Raven, we haven't seen her. Got it?"

Timmy and Teether nodded. They didn't understand fully what was going on, but Melvin would never steer them wrong. They knew that.

Beast Boy hugged them all. "For Raven...thank you." He felt someone nudge him, and he turned. Smiling, he gave Bobby a hug. "Thanks to you, too, Bobby." He turned back to Melvin. "Which way did Raven go?"

Melvin pointed, and Beast Boy flew off.

Robin and the others investigated the farm. "Mutilated cattle...that's different."

Cyborg examined the remains of the cow. "I'm finding teeth marks on the bone...from something with a lot of very sharp teeth. The bones were snapped in something's jaws, and the marrow sucked out. And...it looks like the cow was still alive at the time. There's a good amount of blood spatter...but not all that much blood."

Robin nodded. "So something - or someone - ate the cow without killing it first, and then drank the larger puddles of blood?"

"That's what it looks like."

Starfire came up. "The farmer says he found a note pinned to the stall, unstained by blood. It said, 'Sorry about your cow, I hope this covers it,' and had $950 attatched to it in fresh bills."

Cyborg nodded. "That's about the cost of the meat, in today's market. YOu got the note?"

Starfire nodded and handed the note to him.

Robin paced. "So..somthing eats the cow, then pays for it? THat doesn't make sense."

"Maybe," Cyborg said. "Maybe not. This is BB's handwriting."

"What?" Robin spun around. "Beast Boy?"

Cyborg nodded. "And after he threw his communicator at you...he cleared out his account. I monitor account activity just in case someone attempts a financial attack on us."

RObin stared at the scene. "So Raven ate the cow, and then Beast Boy paid for it. It's clear she's becoming more and more dangerous...we have to hurry. Cyborg, can you track them?"

Cyborg shook his head. "I can guess which direction they went in...but that's about it."

"Let's go then. We have to stop Raven...before it's too late." 


	6. Let Me Help You

6. Let Me Help You

Melvin looked up when Robin and the others arrived at the monastery. "What's up Robin?" she asked, feigning sleepiness. "It's kinda late."

"Sorry to disturb your sleep, Melvin," Robin said kindly. "This shouldn't take to long. See, we're trying to find Raven."

"Is Raven in trouble?" Melvin gave Robin her cutest innocent expression.

"She might be. We just need to find her. We think she passed by this way. Have you seen her?"

Melvin shook her head. "I haven't seen her. Timmy, Teether and I were fast asleep till you got here." She gestured to where Timmy and Teether were still snoring away. "We haven't seen her. You sure she came this way?"

"Admittedly...no." Robin looked flustered.

"THen why'd you wake us up? Couldn't you have just asked the monks or something?"

"YOu're right. Sorry for waking you, Melvin." He turned to go.

Melvin closed the door, but instructed Bobby to listen invisibly, and share what he heard.

"Well, Robin?" That was Cyborg.

"She was lying. I don't know why, but she knows something." Melvin flinched when Robin said that.

"But why would she lie? Would she not want to help Raven?" That was Starfire.

"Maybe she thinks she is," Cyborg said. "What is Beast Boy got to her first?"

"And told her what? What could Beast Boy tell her that would mean she doesn't help us?"

"Maybe that you're planning on taking Raven down and hard...and out if necessarry. Which I still don't agree with, by the way."

"Are you suggesting Beast Boy would tell them Raven had become a monster?"

"No. But what if she did see her, and wants to help her? Beast Boy shows up, telling her he wants to help Raven. Everyone knows how he feels about her, so she'd believe that. He gets the info about her direction from her, then says she shouldn't tell you, because you're planning wrong action. All beleivable to a little girl."

"So she does know and won't tell us? Why that-"

"Robin!" That was Starfire. "Melvin is trying to help the one she looks to as a mother as best she knows. YOu will not blame her for this, or take action against her!"

Silence for a time. "You're right, Star. I don't know what came over me."

"Come on. If she was here, she'll probably still be nearby. We'll search in a circle and find her eventually."

Melvin shuddered. She had to get a message to Raven and Beast Boy...but how?

Raven hid inside the boughs of the tree, shaking and crying. Melvin and the others...they were sure to fear and hate her now. Anyone who saw her now couldn't help but be repulsed. She was a monster...and it showed.

She heard noise approaching her, but she was too tired to run. She would face whatever came now, whatever the consequences.

"Raven? You here?"

She nearly fell out of the tree in shock. "B-Beast Boy? What are you doing here?"

"Helping you."

"But..." She couldn't think what to say.

There was silence for a while. Then Beast Boy spoke up. "I paid the farmer for that cow you ate."

There were a lot of things she'd have expected him to say. That wasn't one of them. "What?"

"That way you weren't stealing, you know?"

Raven sat silently for a while. Then she laughed. She laughed so hard she started to cry. She laughed so hard she fell out of the tree.

Beast Boy caught her easily in his arms. She flinched away from his gaze, but he was still smiling at her. "I found you, Rae," he said, holding her close.

She stared at him. "Beast Boy...look at me! I'm a monster, I ate a live cow, I nearly ate a person, and I scared Melvin, Timmy, and Teether out of their wits! And you're worried about a larceny charge?"

Beast Boy shook his head at her. "A few things. First, instead of eating the person, you ate the cow. So you still have enough control of yourself to think, plan, and choose. Second, Melvin and the others were scared FOR you, not of you. They told me you came this way, and made me promise you'd be okay." He smiled. "As for the monster bit..." He set her down and changed into the Beast. Then he changed back. "I'm pretty sure I'm an expert there, and what I see before me isn't a monster." He leaned in and kissed her on the lips, ignoring where two fangs protruded when her mouth was closed. Pulling back, he continued. "I see the woman I love, scared of what's happening to her, and trying desperately to hold onto herself as her body and darker nature struggle against her control...but she's winning." As Raven stared at him, he smiled. "So you can see why I'm worried about the cost of a cow."

Raven stared, then clung to him, crying, the strain, stress, and emotional turmoil of everything that had happened draining out of her.

Beast Boy smiled down at her, then scooped her into his arms. "Come on," he said, still smiling and carrying her away. "There's a lake nearby. You'll feel better after you clean yourself up. YOu always do." 


	7. Dance w the devil in the pale moonlight

7. Dance With the Devil in the Pale Moonlight

At the lake, Beast Boy had set Raven down next to the water and started to back up.

"Where are you going?" Raven had asked.

"Giving you some privacy while you bathe."

"Beast Boy...I've already been running around naked-"

"Doesn't matter. A gentleman doesn't watch a lady bathe."

She had laughed again, and dived into the water.

Beast Boy had installed himself behind a tree, listening. She had been under the water a long time. He hadn't heard her resurface, and hadn't heard any air bubbles release. He was a little worried. He checked the position of the moon, and realised she'd been under for nearly an hour. He turned and rushed back to the side of the lake.

THe surface of the lake was completely still, undisturbed. The full moon reflected from the center of the water, a perfect glowing circle of pale light. Suddenly the reflection shattered as Raven arose from its exact center.

From her temples, two horns had grown, curling tight against her head like rams horns, but looking almost like a silvery bun do. Her hair was still violet, and had grown long, but the moonlight drank the color out of it, making it appear black against her moon pale skin. Her four eyes were half lidded, letting their red glow shine out, the only color in the scene. Two long tresses hung down to frame her face, and fell to cover her breasts. From her back, two large, bat like wings spread, completely colorless, the membrane so thin the moonlight shone through it, refracting into a monochromatic rainbow upon the water's surface. Sharp claws tipped her fingers and toes. A long, whip like tail extended from her cocyx, shifting slowly in the air, a forked bone spur at the end, glittering in the moonlight like silver, positioned itself almost casually to block view of her between her legs.

Beast Boy could hardly breathe. He could only stare. Raven thought she was a monster for looking like this? Yes, there was a demonic aspect to her appearance...but he would fight anyone who would say she wasn't the most beautiful creature on Earth!

Raven revolved slowly in the air, letting the water cascade slowly over and off of her body. When she saw Beast Boy, she smiled, two fangs just visible jutting from her upper and lower lips. She floated downward, stepping lightly on the surface of the water. SLowly, she walked across the silvery surface of the lake, sending ripples across it at her footsteps. When she reached the edge, she extended her hand towards him.

Silently, he reached out and placed his hand in hers. Exerting gentle pressure, she pulled him onto the waters surface, and they were wrapped up in each others arms, and they slowly swayed and danced across the surface of the water.

Beast Boy stared into Raven's eyes, as she stared into his. They both had a gentle smile on their face. They had each other, the moonlight, and the night. For just this moment nothing else mattered.

Gently, they floated back to the water's edge, setting down on the ground. As the moonlight shone down upon them, draining the color from the world, Raven cupped Beast Boy's face in her hands. He wrapped his arms around her. Their eyes closing, they leaned in, and...

Beast Boy's ears twitched. Spinning, he pushed Raven protectively behind him as he snatched a flying disc out of the air.

"I know you're there now," he said to the forest angrily. "All of you. You might as well show yourselves."

Stepping out of the forest slowly, Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg revealed themselves in the moonlight. 


	8. Last Resort

8. Last Resort

Beast Boy and Robin locked eyes for a time, staring each other down. Robin finally spoke first. "Step away from her Beast Boy, she's dangerous."

"You certainly seem to have made up your mind about that," Beast Boy said, holding up the disk. "Nth-metal exterior, smoothed to perfection, making ALMOST silent flight. Primed to explode upon impact with anything magical. Payload is a mixture of iron and blessed silver. The mix of metals would weaken a full demon's grip on this world, possibly forcing it to flee. But on a half demon, it would cut them off completely from their demon power, leaving a large wound. ...I know Batman would have taught you that supers sometimes go abd, and to know how to neutralize your own teammates, just in case...but I'm pretty sure he never would ahve taught you to kill."

Raven's eyes widened. Cyborg gasped. Starfire stared at Robin in shock.

Robin glared at Beast Boy. "You know what she's done-"

"I do...but do you? Tell me, what exactly has she done that warrants taking her down like this?"

"What she did to that guy-"

"After he pulled a knife on her, which I'm pretty sure makes what happened legally self-defense."

"She went to eat him!"

"But she didn't."

"She ate a cow!"

"Cows are tofu!"

Robin's eye twitched as he tried to make sense of what Beast Boy just said. CYborg spoke up. "BB...did you hit your head or something?"

Beast Boy shook his head. "The predators inside me crave meat and the fresh kill, the thrill of the hunt. But I also become prey animals, which makes eating animal meat wrong to me. So to satisfy the cravings for meat, I eat meat-flavored tofu. To satisfy the urge to hunt, I fight bad guys and play violent video games." Cyborg stared, shocked at this revelation about his best friend's nature. "Raven's demon blood has awakened, yes, changing her. She now craves human flesh, as ell as the emotions of pain and fear. But she's part human, and doesn't want to lose herself. So she eats a cow while it still lives, satisfying the hunger for flesh and blood, as well as the hunger for pain and fear. Cows are Raven's tofu, her substitute for the craving she is unwilling to indulge in."

Robin sarted to speak again, but Beast Boy silenced him. "RObin, for once in your life, you're going to shut up and listen to me. Did it ever occur to you HOW I knew this weapon was crafted to kill Raven...and the plans existed even before we went to Tokyo?"

THere was dead silence as everyone stared at Robin. Since Robin didn't answer, Beast Boy continued.

"Of course, it's not the only one. That file was extensive. A genetic destabilizer; one shot would cause my genetic code to break down, leaving me a puddle of organic green goop. The electro-static rifle: one shot permanently short out all circuitry, as well as hard erasing all hard drives in the range of the shot." Best Boy gestured towards Cyborg. "In fact, there was one prepped for every single Titan on our rosters...except one." He smiled, shaking his head. "When I first read the file, I was angry. Then when I noticed the absence, I was confused. Then I read the bit at the end, and could no longer hate you for making these weapons." He grinned at Robin. "It said, 'I pray I never have to use any of these, but for her they must exist. Should they ever be needed, she will never forgive me...but the alternative I cannot risk.'" He pointed at Starfire. "You planned these weapons in case we went rogue...but not to protect the city, or the world. These weapons were only there...if we became a threat to Starfire, the one Titan you didn't make a 'kill-switch' for. The one you can't live without." Beast boy shrugged his shoulders. "I can't hate you for making these weapons to protect the woman you love...I know I'd do the same."

Robin stood there, looking - for the first time - vulnerable. His tough act, his fierce expression, his merciless demeanor...all had been stripped away. Beast Boy's words had bared Robin's soul for all to see. His mask barely had meaning now. "Beast Boy..."

"And that's why you should know," Beast Boy siad, glaring now. "I know you have two more of these disks in your belt. What you do now determines everything. But if you throw even one more at Raven, I will rip out your heart and feed it to you."

Everyone stepped backwards in shock at these words...except Raven, who found herself curling against Beast Boy's back, almost purring.

Robin gazed at the two of them for a time, clearly lost in thought. THen, glancing towards Starfire, he pulled out the two disks and dropped them on the ground. He crushed them beneath his boots. He turned to Cyborg. "Cyborg, in my personal files is a blueprint set labeled Last Resort. When we get back to the TOwer, I want you to hard erase it. The password is 'Princess of my Heart'. Don't leave any trace."

Cyborg nodded. "Got it, Robin."

Robin turned back to Beast Boy and Raven. "I...I made a terrible mistake."

Beast Boy nodded. "You were afraid." Beast Boy crushed the disk in his hand. "The question is...what now?"

Robin gazed at them for a while, then reached into his belt. He pulled out two communicators. "Now...I'd like you both to come home...if it's still home to you."

Raven floated the communicators over to them. They stared at them for a while, then at each other. Beast Boy smiled at Robin. "We'll get back to you on that." The two of them vanished into shadow. 


	9. What Now?

9. What Now?

Somewhere...

Beast Boy and Raven lay in each other's arms, simply existing. They were each lost in their own thoughts. Beast Boy glanced at his love. "Penny for your thoughts?"

She chuckled. When he raised his eyebrow, she conjured an image of the penny he gave her once, and he laughed, too.

She looked at him. "Did you mean what you said to Robin? About what you'd do if he tried to hurt me?"

"Every word," he responded without hesitation.

Raven shuddered in pleasure. Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. She blushed. "Beast Boy...I'm a bit more demonic now than I used to be. Hearing that you would do such brutal violence for my sake was...exciting." She glanced at him, worried that this might upset him or freak him out.

He raised an eyebrow. "So that's why you started purring, among other things?"

She nodded. "That doesn't bother you?"

"Raven...wild animals determine mating the same way. The males fight, and the strongest and most brutal male gets the female...or females, as the case may be. To at least half of my being, what you just said sounds completely natural."

Raven smiled. Then she frowned. "And the other half?"

"Is just to happy to learn that anything about me is a turn on for you to care what it is," he said with a huge grin, quirking his eyebrow up and down suggestively.

Raven couldn't help but laugh. "Beast Boy, you're incorrigible!"

"You wouldn't want me any other way, would you?"

She thought for a time. "No, I guess I wouldn't."

They lay there for a time. "So, Raven...what do we do now?"

"Hmm?"

Beast Boy picked up the communicator. They had deactivated the GPS. "Do we go back, go our own way...where do we go with our lives now?"

"Why are you asking me?" Raven asked. "You get a say in this, too."

"I decided when I tossed this in Robin's face...wherever you go in life, I'll be right by your side, no matter where it takes me. ...to hell and back again, even."

She blushed. "Beast Boy...you know what that's implying...right?"

He smiled at her. "Call me Garfield," he said simply.

At Titan Tower, things were a bit more frosty. Cyborg had tried to be understanding about what Robin had done, but it would take a while for him to get past it. He had forgiven Robin, but he said it would be a long time before he forgot.

Starfire was another matter. Robin sought her out, to try and talk things through. He found her on the roof, cuddling Silkie. "Starfire..." he began.

"You sought to kill Raven this evening, yes?" she asked simply.

Robin sat where he was. "I did. It was a terrible mistake."

"You did not give her a chance...not until Beast Boy showed you what you were doing did you realize how wrong you were. ...Raven is a very close friend of mine, as humans say, 'as close as a Sister.' Closer, in my case. And you sought her distruction, on very little evidence...I do not know if I will ever be able to see you the same way after this."

Robin nodded. "I'm sorry, Star. I'm sorry I proved unworthy of your trust." He got up to go.

"I can understand and forgive your creation of those weapons," she called after him, "and eventually...I shall be able to forgive what happened tonight."

He turned back, feeling hope again. "You'll...let me know?"

She shook her head. "It will be hard for me to know when to forgive...so know that when Raven forgives you for trying to kill her, then so shall I." Standing up, she walked back to her room.

Robin leaned against the roof access, sighing. He hoped things would work out...for everyone's sake. 


	10. Saying Goodbye

10. Saying Goodbye

Things had been very quiet at Titans Tower since Raven and Beast Boy's departure, 4 months back. They'd fought a few bad guys, but most had gone very quiet. They'd managed to stay a team, mostly by Robin being incredibly apologetic over the situation. He had realized that he was doing the one thing he'd hoped would never happen: he was turning into Batman.

As such, whenever Cyborg wanted him to do something rather...embarrassing, all it took was one reminder about that blasted file, and he was doing it. When he saw that many of these things made Starfire laugh, and helped her feel more forgiving towards him, he wasn't nearly as hesitant to do so.

One day, three fancy envelopes arrived at the Tower. Cyborg brought them in. "Pretty fancy caligraphy. There's one addressed to each of us...but there's no postage."

"Oh! Maybe it is from Friend's Raven and Beast Boy, and it arrived by magic!" Star said excitedly, seizing hers.

They sat down to open them. Inside, each had one item that was identical, and one card of instructions. They were invitations to Beast Boy and Raven's wedding, to take place in Upper Lamumba. Starfire was going to be the Maid of Honor. Cyborg was going to be Best Man. And Robin...had been asked to give the bride away.

They were all very excited, and an eager rush to pack was under way.

A week later...

In a small village in Upper Lamumba, the villagers were rather shocked at the sudden arrival of a VTOL capable jet. They were even more shocked at the guests who had arrived. However, Garfield assured them that these were the friends he had told them about, they relaxed and welcomed them. They were still getting used to Garfield's bride-to-be, although no one mads any fuss when the king of the tribe declared her to be a Spirit Woman, having undergone a Rite of Transformation. Since the villagers knew of magic, to a degree, they accepted her without qualms.

Once there, the former team gathered together to talk.

"I take it you're going to stay here?" Cyborg asked the two love birds.

Garfield nodded. "This place feels more like home to us. We've found a spot away from the village that's perfect for us, and we're unlikely to come across any people, so Raven won't have to worry about any accidents. We can be ourselves here. Of course, you all are welcome to visit."

Starfire embraced them both. "Oh, my dear friends! I will miss you both so!"

Raven hugged Star back. "I'll miss you too, Star. Keep in touch, okay?"

"I most certainly shall!"

Robin faced Raven nervously. "Raven, I just wanted to apologize for what I tried to do-"

"Robin, stop." Robin fell silent. "Robin...if you had gotten to me first...I'd have welcomed what you sought to do that night. If Garfiled hadn't found me, and convinced me I still had a future, still had hope...I would have welcomed death at your hands. I can't blame you for it. Gar was the only one who saw clearly that night...and I think we can all be grateful for that."

"You...you forgive me, then?"

She smiled. "Would I have asked you to give me away if I didn't? So come on, I want to see you and Star kiss and make up, already. The tension between you two gave me a headache all the way from Jump City."

Starfire hugged Robin before he had a chance to react. "I did not like being angry with you, dear Robin." She kissed him soundly. "So do not ever vex me so again!" she said, poking his chest to emphasize her point.

He smiled and nodded, plainly both releived and nervous. Cyborg laughed.

Raven smiled. "That's better. By the way..." She gestured to a few other guests at the wedding. "Think you could give the kids a lift home after the wedding? They deserve as normal a childhood as possible, and we really can't give them that, as much as we want to."

Starfire hugged Raven. "Oh dear friend who is more of a sister to me than my own flesh and blood, I would be pleased to watch over your bumgorf's for you! I am sure Robin will assist me in this!"

Robin gulped, then nodded vigorously when eyes turned to him.

The wedding went off without a hitch. The King performed a ceremony that was a mixture of local and western traditions. There was one point that got a laugh out of a few people, though.

Near the climax of the wedding, the king spoke up. "If there are any here with sound reason why these two should not be joined..." He jerked a thumb towards Raven. "Keep in mind who the bride is."

Some of the guests laughed. Deciding to get into the joke, Raven pulled Garfield to her, glared playfully at the crowd, and said, "Mine!" Everyone laughed.

When the wedding was succesfully concluded, few were surprised when Starfire caught the bouquet...although one was extremely nervous when Starfire asked, "Dear Robin, what is the significance of the catching of the floral arrangement?"

Melvin, Timmy and Teether were a little upset when they found out they would not be living with Raven, but Melvin understood the reasons. She managed to get Timmy and Teether okay with it as well, after extracting a promise from Raven that there would be regular visits both ways.

The Titans flew back to Jump City, the jet heavy by four passengers, three children and a teddy bear. Raven and Beast Boy flew off into the wilderness, Leaving behind those things that they needed no longer.

They had each other. They had nature's bounty. They had their future.

What more could they need? 


End file.
